Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder
People call me Jared. Firstly, I just want you to know that you're probably as confused as me. Let's begin.
That was a doozy!
When I was just a little fella I got raped super hard by a couple guys. It certainly was a doozy! This one makes fun of it though.
Life has been a confusing event for me. Maybe it makes more sense now than it use to. But the sense that it makes is quite uncomfortable. I figured because I can't see myself going backward, I guess I'll just keep moving forward. Or maybe go in circles. Welcome to the merry-go-round. I'm just going to give you what I've got right now. Because I'l end up confusing it beyond words if the Sensor gets a hold of it! Catch me if you can, big guy! Hehe. I'm sure he'll regret that this one got enough airtime to learn how to write an article on its blog.
There's a few of them
I think I'm the host. As far as I can tell. They all kind of get a little feedback from me, or at least I try to tell them. I suppose I'm Jared. But you've probably mostly met the Shell. The Shell is Sensor. He takes my thinking up most of the time. If you've thought I'm normal you've probably met Shell. He plays a shell game to keep it all in check. He's ok with people but you probably don't know him much, he's really good at that.
There's a few more, though. At least one's that I'm currently aware of. Death and Hurter are a couple others. And then there is also the Angry One. He's pretty scary to me. Death and Hurter seem to be friends, but they don't get along with this one. If this one is Host, but I'm not sure.
It's probably clear that I'm suffering a mental lapse to you. Don't worry, it's all working out. Because my current course of action hasn't worked as a managable way of things, I'm trying to go about it differently. And Shell will just have to deal with it. Just becareful because he might try to deny that any of this goes on in his clockwork. Maybe next time you see him you can flash hima gang sign or something, that would be funny!
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder
I'd like to just apologize to everyone that has ever known me in my life. If you thought I was strange, or if I offended you somehow, you are probably right on both accounts. Right now I'm just trying to manage attendance because sometimes the Instances (as I've found makes them have more sense to my current faculties) stay up too late or don't come around very often.
Death and Hurter are still pretty mysterious to me, and they seem to work mostly in the background. I'm still trying to figure them out. Death is the one that has the abyss in him. He dug out the bottom and put it on the outside. Now he just stares into the abyss. He is a silly little guy. They aren't very old, I don't think. They're probably around four years old or so. I think they are pre-rational. Sorting them takes considerable effort. Hurter almost got me a couple times though! When I was five or so I almost got to hang myself in a tree in my backward. Rope length miscalculations and all that! Doh! And then there was the drowning but that one didn't work either. Oh well!
Moral of the story: Don't rape people, folks!
I think these ones came around to help me cope. But they weren't very good at it. (Obviously) Shell has done a pretty good job at making it normal. But he's running out of gas, and my wife and kids want feelings from me, so I'm trying to reign him in a bit. You'll probably still see him most of the time, at least for now, because he doesn't share very often!
Anyway, it's all going to be OK. Don't worry about it.
If you're around me, you might see me be weird. I'm scared of getting in trouble, so Shell does a lot of leg work. Just relax. If you know me, I'm alright. It's better now than it was before. I'm pretty sure things are looking up. Cheers.
P.S. Don't worry about Angry One. He's just scary!